I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
