Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize