I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
we should paint friendship bongs
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