Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize