Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
