i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
