There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Randomize