is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
