alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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