Sponge bath it is.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
