would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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