Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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