okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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