I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize