I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
