Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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