One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize