sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
