no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
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There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
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Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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