She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
