Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
