He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
He passed out mid-signature
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
