I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize