that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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