do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
We're too hungover to prance.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
