You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
