so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
why does every cop we meet know your name?
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
