I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
