Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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