So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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