Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
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No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
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I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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