Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
