People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
