I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
