Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Randomize
