: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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