he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize