Jerry, you need to find god
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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