Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
