we have officially lost it.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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