i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
This is classic penis vs brain.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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