8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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