I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
