I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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