She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
