I'm going to jail i love you
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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