God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Its about making memories worth repressing
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
