threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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