this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
