I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I want to have your abortion
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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