we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize