so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
