Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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