Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
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