i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
