He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
