I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
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