hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
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