yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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