I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Randomize
