So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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