her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
