I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
try to milk me bitch
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
